


Help Me

by BlamBlamDaJamJam (orphan_account)



Series: Sand Siblings: Gaara Whump [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cutting, Depression, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Nightmares, Sand Siblings-centric, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21911383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/BlamBlamDaJamJam
Summary: Gaara now has a good relationship with his siblings. That doesn't mean he doesn't hide things from them though; such as his depression, the cuts, his nightmares, the constant lack of eating and just how bad his insomnia is.Kankurō and Tamari aren't too happy when they find out only because Gaara attempted suicide. Naturally, they help him, because they refuse to sit by as their younger brother spirals.
Relationships: Gaara & Kankurou & Temari
Series: Sand Siblings: Gaara Whump [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1578241
Comments: 14
Kudos: 82





	1. Gaara's Suicide Attempt

Gaara knew what would happen if his siblings - Temari and Kankurō - ever found out what he'd been hiding for so long. If they ever knew how bad his nightmares and insomnia were, if they knew about the cuts and his constant lack of eating. 

So he kept it hidden the best he could. Now that they actually cared about him, it was harder and harder to hide everything; especially since he was never good at lying and especially bad at lying to them. 

It made him feel nauseas every time he lied; made him feel nauseas every time they would say they were there for him. He knew it, but for some reason couldn't accept it. 

He was a monster that just so happened to be related by blood. He tormented them for years, produced heaps of death threats when Kankurō and Temari were even the slightest inconveniences, and they still found room in their hearts to forgive and _l_ _ove_ him. Gaara loved them back and they knew it. But he couldn't accept that his horrendous existence was welcomed. 

Temari and Kankurō were out and about, but Gaara had forgotten where they'd gone. It didn't matter, he supposed, as long as it have him enough time. He knew that as a Jinchuriki he had a higher chance than most people of making it out of his suicide attempt, but hoped that he didn't. 

Gaara just wanted the pain, the ungodly hours he was kept up to by Shukaku and everything else to just....stop. 

The rope was tied tight. Gaara tested it a few times by yanking harshly, glad it didn't loosen or budge. He knew his siblings might find him before he died - _if_ he died - but hoped they wouldn't. It would be cruel for them to needlessly witness his lifeless body. 

He pulled his head through the loop entirely, feeling a lump in his throat grow, but he swallowed it. Now was not the time for doubts or wimping out. Gaara felt the rope tighten around his throat as he kicked the chair over, leaving him flailing in the air before he willed himself to stop. It was painful, but it was less painful than sliced arms or a slit neck. 

Gaara accepted the darkness that was surrounding him increasingly fast, praying he'd die.

* * *

Kankurō felt like something was wrong. 

The boy didn't know how to describe it; but it was like he sensed _something_ as wrong with his younger brother, Gaara. 

Temari seemed to have the same realization, looking at Kankurō with furrowed brows. "Do you think Gaara is doing okay?" She asked. Kankurō shrugged. "Dunno. Should we check up on him?" He was trying not to show his worry - be the strong brother Temari knew him as. But it was getting increasingly hard as the sinking feeling in his stomach sank even further. 

Temari and Kankurō had gone Christmas shopping for Gaara, but they'd only been gone for an hour or two when the feeling of wrongness had snuck up on Kankurō. 

His sister set down what she'd previously been looking at. "Yeah," She said. "I have a bad feeling, Kankurō. A _really_ bad feeling." 

The look of worry and concern nearly overwhelmed Kankurō, but he forced himself to remain calm. His sister always got like this when it came to either of her siblings, but it still managed to unnerve him. 

And so the two of them walked (read: ~~ran~~ speedwalked) home, flinging the door open. Kankurō shut the door behind them, wanting but also not wanting to stall; to not see what was causing the utter despair pooling in his stomach. But this was his _brother,_ so he sucked it up and went with Temari to Gaara's bedroom door. 

"Gaara? You in there?" Temari asked as she rapped her knuckles on the door. Kankurō knocked on the door after a minute had passed. "You good in there, otouto?" 

_Silence._ The sand siblings looked at each-other with panic shining in their eyes. Kankurō watched as Temari kicked the door down, swiftly following her in the room. 

Kankurō quickly spotted the chair knocked over on the ground; his eyes looking up to see Gaara's neck encircled in rope, his small body swinging aimlessly. He thought he was going to be sick, but he was frozen, watching the rythmatic swinging of his younger brother. 

That is, until Temari cried out his otouto's name. " _Gaara!_ " Temari screamed, running to said boy. "I'll catch him, but get Gaara down!" he yelled to his sister, standing under the younger boy's body. Temari did so within seconds. Gaara's body dropped like a rock. 

Kankurō felt violently sick at the lifeless body of Gaara in his arms, but set him down in his lap, fingers nimbly working to untie the tight rope. Eventually it was done, though both sand siblings could see the dark bruises that the noose had left behind. 

He worked quickly, laying Gaara flat and hovering his hands over his brother's chest before compressing three times; then pinching his nose, leaning his head back and breathing air into Gaara's lungs. 

It was a process that lasted for what seemed to be hours before Gaara was finally breathing again, albeit his eyes not being open or any other signs of consciousness. 

Kankurō looked to Temari, who'd enclosed Gaara within her arms, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Kankurō searched around the room, but could find nothing that would've hinted to- he couldn't finish the thought, instead changing his objective to finding any letters; but to no avail. 

There was nothing. It made Kankurō angry that his brother would leave without even a last note, but sadness twisted his heart that he was looking for something like that in the first place. He shouldn't need to, just as his brother shouldn't have felt the need to....

Kankurō wiped his eyes, but gave up after the tears wouldn't lessen. Instead, the young ninja walked to Gaara, and he now saw his brother was wearing his pajamas; something he'd not noticed before. 

It was a set Kankurō and Temari had come together to buy. The bottoms were loose, midnight blue plaid pants that pooled at his ankles and draped over his feet as Gaara was still too small to fit them quite right. The loose t-shirt was a pastel blue with the kanji for family in black on the front, covering a large area. The outfit seemed to make Gaara seem smaller.

He then noticed the scars around his otouto's wrists and came closer to inspect. He picked up one of Gaara's arms, feeling better now that it had a pulse to it, but was horrified to see the scars going up into the shirt. "Gaara...." 

Kankurō gulped. "Temari....Temari, look." the young girl did just that. Temari had no other physical reaction than pulling Gaara closer. Kankurō forced himself to _think._ Hesitantly, he grabbed Temari's shoulder. "We should move him somewhere more comfortable, jah?" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kankurō and Temari have a chat while they wait for Gaara to wake up, Kankurō cooks and Temari is a sister to Gaara.

Kankurō picked his little brother up, aghast at the fact that Gaara weighed next to nothing. ~~_He shouldn't be this light._~~

He carried Gaara to his room, Temari shuffling behind him. Kankurō couldn't stand to be in that room any longer. Couldn't stand to look at the overturned chair or noose. 

As he set Gaara on the bed he shifted the sheets so there was enough room to set his otouto down. Once Gaara was lain on the bed, Kankurō put the sheets back ontop of Gaara. _~~It would be worse if Gaara was being lain in a coffin and not his brother's bed.~~_

As soon as he turned around Temari met his eyes. Her resolve seemed to be sturdier, but shiny eyes betrayed her. Kankurō hesitantly held his arms out and took a step foward. Temari took a few steps before she was in his arms, her own wrapped around him like he was a lifeline. Which, right now, he probably was. 

"Why didn't he ask for help? We would've helped him, we would've! But he...Kankurō, he _tried..._ to-to-" Temari's words were muffled in his baggy shirt, and her sentence ended in a sob. Kankurō gripped his sister tight as heavy sons wracked both of their bodies. Eventually, he and Temari had stopped crying; sitting on the floor from when his knees had gave out earlier.

The two siblings sat across from eachother. "Temari, should we..." Kankurō didn't really know where he was going with that sentence, but the silence and tension was so damn _heavy_ he could feel it pressing him down. 

"Should we _what?_ We weren't there for him, Kankurō. We just weren't. What if he doesn't wake up? What if he does but won't tell us what's wrong, why he..." Temari doesn't finish the sentence. Not that Kankurō wanted her to; it was still replaying in his mind how Gaara swung, how Gaara looked so sad but at peace. _The overturned chair._

"Then he doesn't tell us. What can we do, force him? It would make things worse, and then he might never tell us. We just...need to prove we're here for him and we're staying." Kankurō spoke the truth, but it twisted his stomach all the same.

His sister didn't respond, seemingly lost in thought.

"But, Temari...When I picked him up, he was so _light._ He's not supposed to be that light, damnit!" 

Temari bit her lip. "Kankurō...I think...I-I need to know..." Kankurō's expression held nothing but confusion, but Temari ignored it and stood, walking to Gaara. _~~Why does he look like a corpse?~~_

She pulled the sheets down and then pulled Gaara's shirt up so she could see his ribs. They weren't sticking out gruesomly, but that was a minor relief compared to the fresh wave of horror that hit her. 

Gaara's ribs were definitely...pronounced, for lack of better words. Temari gently touched a finger to one, flinching when she could feel it almost immediately. Her otouto's stomach was slightly sunken. When she couldn't take any more, Temari pulled his shirt down and the sheets back over his frail body.

Oh _kami,_ she was about to puke. Kankurō grabbed her shoulders and led her back to a sitting position, though this time he was the one facing Gaara. 

"How did we not notice? He's our otouto...We're supposed to look after him...He's out _little brother..._ " Temari's voice cracked so many times Kankurō almost didn't catch what his sister had said.

He let out an audible gulp. "We just...We just have to take care of him, Temari. If he'll let us. But the most important thing is letting him know we're never failing as his siblings again. _Ever._ "

Temari nodded. "I'll cook some food for everyone. Just...uh, tell me if he wakes up..." Without waiting for a response, Kankurō left the room and made his way to the kitchen.

* * *

Temari sat next to Gaara, her hand running through his hair continuely. 

The teen wondered how long the bags under his eyes had been there; how long he'd gone without food; if he even felt he could reach out to his flesh and blood, his brother and sister.

Gaara had continued sleeping, not moving in his sleep when she had brought the upper half of his body up. Well, his head had dropped and rested on the crook of her neck, but Temari assumed that was just gravity doing its thing.

It pained her to see Gaara in such a state. It'd hurt less when Gaara had still been labeled as a monster, because then she could put aside her worry (at least a little) with the excuse of she feared for her life. 

In recent times, however, Temari was absolutely positive her brother was anything _but_ a monster. He was her little brother, her _family,_ and that's all Temari needed to know. Gaara suddenly shifted in his sleep, eyes scrunching.

Her otouto's hands reached out and gripped her in a hug, a vice-like hold that made Temari ache at all the times she'd denied her brother a hug when they were younger. Without hesitation she wrapped her arms around him in the same strong, unwavering grasp. Gradually, Gaara's grip loosened until his arms laid still and unmoving. ~~_He has a pulse, it's okay, he has a pulse._~~

~~~~He still laid against Temari, snuggled cozier than before. Temari trapped Gaara in a blanket from the bed, wrapping it around the two of them like they were a burrito. Gaara hadn't woken up yet, but he seemed close to conciousness. He kept grabbing at Temari's shirt, though, and it seemed a sense of comfort for him, atleast.

She remembered when her brother was a sweet, innocent bundle of love. Temari remembered the first time he'd looked _through_ and not _at_ her. It had been terrifying and he was suddenly cold and unresponsive. She remembered crying that night. 

Now, Gaara was learning. Temari had witnessed him crying, laughing, smiling and being happy. And she couldn't have been happier. Gaara was still a sweet boy, but he'd seen things Temari wished he never had; wished she could remove them from his memory. Maybe it would make him sleep better...

Temari still wanted to throttle her father for doing what he did to Gaara - who knows just what he told him? Hell, what _had_ he done? The thought made her burn up and clench at Gaara's frail form tighter.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Kankurō returned with food. He evidently noticed Gaara's change in position, but shrugged shakily. He was still affected by Gaara's... 

Temari ignored that train of thought in order to accept the food her brother offered. It was oatmeal, still steaming from how fresh it was. "Thanks." Other than shifting a little, Temari ate the oatmeal with Gaara upon her arms. 

She just hoped he would wake up soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gaara wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONYAKNYABFSGS OKAY SO I KNOW IT'S BEEN F O R E V E R SINCE I UPDATED AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A REASON TO NOT BE UPDATING SO HERE'S THIS *slams new chapter in your face* :) enjoy this. . .I tried my best okay 👁👄👁

It had been hours since they'd eaten the oatmeal, but neither sibling could find the will to leave Gaara alone for longer than needed; partly because of how many _what-ifs_ they had. 

What if he woke up and they weren't there ~~again~~? What if he got hurt, or someone tried to hurt him ~~again~~? What if they were gone for long enough that he had time to...try _it_ ~~again~~? There were simply to many what-ifs that the sand sibling weren't willing to risk.

Temari stroked Gaara's hair, soft hands running through endless red. She was almost numb at this point, with no emotional turmoil to keep her grounded. Not that she wanted that, but she didn't want to be doing _this,_ either. Waiting for her younger brother to wake up. Part of her hoped he would tell them what was wrong, but she knew, logically, he probably wouldnt. Gaara was the type of person who kept _everything_ to himself...

Which is why she was sitting there, waiting for him to _wake up._

* * *

Kankurō had fallen asleep earlier despite his desperate attempts at staying awake. Temari was glad he could sleep. She closed her eyes and mentally debated if she should too, even with Gaara in her arms. 

_Arms that were supposed to be a safe place for him._

But were they really safe? If she couldn't keep Gaara from deciding that, "oh, hey, suicide is a _really_ good option!", then it was safe to say _no,_ her arms weren't safe. Not anymore. Not when she couldn't protect someone. Not when she couldn't protect her _younger brother._

Temari took a deep breath, shifting to be more comfortable. as much as she hated to admit it, she wouldn't be able to deal Gaara waking up at the moment - not with how tired she was. And as much as she didn't want to, Temari fell asleep.

* * *

Gaara felt tired. 

He'd felt tired for. . .a long time. When he finally went to bed, he hated that he'd woken up. That wasn't how it was supposed to be - he was supposed to be _permanently_ sleeping. 

Gaara's neck hurt. His throat felt dry and scratchy, he felt like he would throw up, and he felt achy. 

Gaara forced his eyes open, only to see Kankurō staring right at him. Gaara felt the need to sit up, but jerked when he felt someone's arms around him. Temari's? 

He quickly looked and saw that it was, in fact, his sister. Gaara suddenly felt nauseated and broke from Temari's grasp to lean over the side of the bed he was on. Kankurō wordlessly held a hand on Gaara's chest so he wouldn't fall off completely, his other hand rubbing soothing circles onto Gaara's back. 

Gaara felt a small wave of embarrassment wash over him as he gagged, nothing coming out, which made his stomach cramp uncomfortably. Of all things, Gaara wished the sand could protect him from feeling sick. 

He continued gagging and, as soon as the urge to throw up finally passed, the poor boy started choking on his own saliva. Within a minute or two his head was tilted so a cup could be pressed to his lips. Not caring that he was vulnerable, Gaara drank almost all the water, regretting it instantly as his stomach protested. 

Gaara slumped into Kankurō's hold, trusting that his brother, at the very least, wouldn't completely let him drop. 

Slowly, Gaara was becoming more and more aware of his surroundings, both upsetting and angering him. He was supposed to be _dead,_ he wasn't supposed to be _breathing,_ yet here be was, wrapped in his sibling's embraces. 

~~It sort of felt nice to be held~~

Gaara didn't bother struggling against his brother when Kankurō started lifting him back into Temari's grasp. 

Temari quickly wrapped her arms around him. Gears didn't exactly feel safe or secure, but dear _Kami_ was he exhausted. 

Gaara almost wanted to cry. 

Why couldn't he feel safe? Why couldnt he feel at ease? He was with his siblings. . .

~~He guessed it was because, in the end, it was always the sand that had protected him, not his siblings, and it'd been like that for a while.~~

~~But he could learn to feel safe.~~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So. . .uh 👁💧👄💧👁 I'm sorry if anything is inaccurate - I've not yet finished Naruto (aka I haven't watched Shippuden) and it's been a HOT minute since I've finished the episodes they have for Naruto on Netflix. However, I do know some spoilers so I can roughly guess what happens but I do have plans to watch Shippuden. Again I'm sorry if anything is inaccurate - PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF A N Y T H I N G CORRECT ME IF SOMETHING IS WRONG, sorry for the rant, have this *slaps this anGSTY chapter in your face* 🕴🏼

Gaara knew. 

A heavy feeling - much like the one he carried throughout his childhood and even up 'till now - was settling over his chest. A chest that shouldn't be beating, mind you, which; even in a ~~vulnerable~~ slightly weakened state; irritated Gaara to no end. 

The feeling could only be described as a mixture of emptiness, dread, and mortification. 

Gaara _knew._ He _knew_ his siblings would want to talk, he _knew_ they'd try not to ask but would either cave to their guilt (which, by this point was tangible) or would try to bring it up, back off as soon as Gaara even looked at them a little heatedly, and bring it up again in a continuous cycle. 

Gears didn't want to talk. He just wanted to sleep, and right now he wasn't being questioned about anything. It almost made him feel relieved if he didn't know what would be coming as soon as his siblings felt he was "well enough" to talk about what he did. 

Maybe, if he could do it again, he'd try something a little more messy so he couldn't be saved as stupidly easily as being taken down like an old swing. 

He smelled food, but his stomach was churning far too much to even think about eating; assuming there was even enough and that the food was for him. Though he didn't want to admit it, it would be mildly embarrassing for Gaara to ask for some food only to be answered with it wasn't for him or there wasn't enough. 

_Besides_ , a voice other than Shukaku's said, _Kankurō needed to check the food_ *.

Gaara weakly leaned against his sister, strangely wanting to lean against his brother but knowing Temari would get upset, even if she tried to make it seem fine. He hated when she did that. Gaara began fidgeting more and more the longer he stayed in his sister's arms. 

Temari took his actions as him being uncomfortable and prompted Kankurō to take Gaara so she could get something for them to drink. _That sounds nice,_ Gaara thought, his head pounding from the reminder he hadn't had any water for a while. 

As soon as Gaara was in Kankurō's arms, he practically merged with him, melting into his brother's arms. He didn't exactly feel safe, but he felt. . . .protected. . .as weird as that was. 

Not caring how "out-of-character" it was, Gaara snuggled into Kankurō, his head resting underneath the older one's chin. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to move - that he was to open, someone would surely jump at the chance to hurt him - but Gaara forcefully pushed those thoughts aside. 

He was one-hundred percent sure his older brother wouldn't let that happen. Probably. Gaara could feel the heat soaking through his older brother to him, and it felt nice, in a way. 

Gaara wanted to say sorry. He wouldn't actually mean it, but it would make the tension less severe. "Sorry," he said hoarsely. Kankurō looked at him harshly, not quite a glare, and said, " _Bullshit._ " Other than that, he didn't comment, and Temari came into the room with drinks in her arms.

* * *

Gaara felt sick to his stomach, but he ate anyways. He drank, too, after seeing the pleading look in his sibling's eyes. 

"We won't. . .make you talk about it, but if-if you _want_ to. . ." Temari said, shifting uncomfortably from where she was sitting. Gaara wanted to leave the room. He didn't want to talk. He _really_ didn't want to talk. But Gaara also knew he needed to explain why.

* * *

Gaara explained, in detail, why. 

The haunted look on his sibling's faces made him regret it, twisting his heart.

* * *

Kankurō wanted to come up with a plan for Gaara to eat and drink. Gaara didn't want to go along with it - he liked seeing his ribs. It was a reminder of something _he_ had control over, something that was his. Yet, he went along with it. 

"Okay, I made a list of stuff for you eat, but I want you to circle stuff you'll eat."

So he did. There weren't many things circled, but it made his siblings smile anyways. Gaara guessed he could be slightly happy over that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * okay so from a spoiler thing??? and a lot of fanfic I've read, Kankurō eats Gaara's food (just a lil' bit) to make sure it isn't poisoned. I'm not 100% sure that's true but I included it anyways--- 
> 
> Also I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in like 276262 years I've been up until like 5 am almost every night just trying to do schoolwork 👁💧👄💧👁


End file.
